© 2019 by Deon Sanders.

"Healing the world, one heart at a time"

Depression is REAL

Depression can be identified by feelings of helplessness, hopelessness, sadness, frustration, anger, loss of appetite, loss of sleep, increase in sleep, loss of sex drive, loss of hygiene fulfillment and lack of productivity. It can cause suicidal thoughts/feelings and ideas. It makes you isolate, stay to yourself, push people away. It makes you lash out, see things, hear things, be unable to focus, unable to plan and execute per usual. Depression can be accompanied with anxiety.

When you are depressed you can be staring at ur phone and hearing it ring and have the desire to answer it but not the energy to help you do it so you lay there in darkness and don’t answer. Or you smell your body odor and are so unbothered you lay there still and waddle in misery.

Depression can be divided into 2 categories: clinical and situational. Situational depression is you are depressed because of all the shyt that’s not going right for u. (Loss job, broken relationships, health issues, family stuff, failures, defeats and etc) this type of depression contributes to the statistical data. See people of color are subjected to daily racism, discrimination and unfair treatment that triggers pre existing feelings and thoughts from individual past experiences or our collective pst experiences. So on top of dealing with bills, job stress, and life we also have to deal with being “black” or being a “black man” or being a “gay black man” or being a “black woman” on top of the other stressful things that come with life.

Then you have clinical depression which is identified by chemical Imbalance in your brain that causes you to feel sad and down NO MATTER what good or bad is going on. ( all ur bills are paid and u just got married to ur crush but u are still sad, unhappy, feeling helpless)

Both can be dealt with by understanding triggers and coping skills but clinical depression usually requires medication as well. Most people, specifically people of color are not clinically depressed. Both can be accompanied by suicidal thoughts, feelings, dreams or plans. Depending on the severity will depend on the appropriate treatment response. If there is increased anxiety with impulsively then suicidal risks increase.

I personally battle PTSD so fighting depression and anxiety is a reality for me as well. And I remember a recent episode of depression after a few failed dates and some financial issues I started to feel so insignificant, I was feeling unattractive, unsuccessful, less than a man. I would look at myself in the mirror and see all of my flaws and none of my flavor, I would see all of my blemishes and none of my blessings. I was so overwhelmed with stress of life, bills, family issues and being single and lonely and not being where I thought I would be at age 34, that I was having thoughts of “not wanting to deal with life anymore” or “I could run this car into that tree or If I died who would miss me.”

There are some things we face in life that can be so intense that it causes the mind to consider death or sleep as an option.

This is when you have to reach out to people, strangers on a train, social Media, friends, family, and or professionals because you are currently in crisis and need some support from people who are in a position to carry the burdens you are carrying to alleviate your pain long enough to give you a healthier perspective.

With Depression learning to express your feelings and thoughts is vital. Learning to not internalize and learning to challenge internal thoughts that may cause you anxiety or self doubt. Depression is common, don’t be ashamed of it, we all deal with it, most of us just cope in unhealthy ways via people, sex, drugs, alcohol, church, work and money. We have learned to mask the symptoms and smile through the darkness but not really fix the issues.

Some of us are depressed today because of things that happened to you in your past. And in order to gain power in those areas you will have to process through them by talking, expressing, revealing and confiding in someone such as a counselor, life coach or a wise friend. Get help and don’t stay stuck in the darkness any longer than you have to.